Weird Mood This Morning

I think that I’ve had all I can stand.  My brain is kind of “giggly.”  It’s like I have an extreme case of IDGAF — that’s I Don’t Give a Flip for our young ears.

I’m not sure of the reason, or if there is even a singular reason.  These are a few things crossing my mind as I sit here and feel my extremities twitch.

  1. Twitching, is funny.  I mean, I could see if I could get licensed as a massager.  Not by the Louisiana Board of Cosmetology, but by UL. I could be a full-body massager.  All you would have to do is lay next to me and the twitches and vibrations would do the res.
  2. The sounds of the storm are beautiful.  What?  I like storms?  Yes, I do.  I think they are an embodiment of what Mother Natures power is.  And, all of this power abides by the laws of Mathematics and I’m a mathematician….. So, I see eye-to-eye with Mother Nature.  Yes, I know she is a conceptual deity, but isn’t mathematics?  Sort of?
  3. I will likely never work again, and thus, can never be fired.  Think on that a minute….
  4. I have very few physical visitors.  I mean like really, who wants to see an old guy that twitches anyway?
  5. My online presence is bigger than my physical presence.  I can name the people in reality that I talk to on my fingers.  I don’t need my feed to help count.  Online, I have a cast of thousands.  They don’t always talk back.  But, if you saw me in person, you know I ramble.  So, one way communication between me and a cast of thousands is probably good. My hands give out and it gives people a chance to respond, if they so feel inclined.
  6. I’m ignored by most of the people that should care about me.  Or if the don’t ignore me, they avoid me.  Not much difference.  The end result is the same.  The phone doesn’t ring, nor does the door bell.
  7. Church and hurricane tracking are all I have that keeps me going.  My oldest is moving to another state in a few years, my youngest will undoubtedly do the same.  My middle child rightfully despises me.  My wife doesn’t know what to do with me.  That leaves Internet communications to keep me going.  Eventually, I will be pigeon-holed in a long-term care facility.  I need to work on my thoughts on that.  Right now it seems like a prison.
  8. My most common visitors are a pair of cardinals, a blue jay, a team of sparrows and some squirrels that are too fast for me to capture on digital film.
  9. I have a progressive neuro-muscular disease with an unknown origin and an unknow rate of progression.  It affects my entire being — that is the embarassing parts too that I very rarely delve into on this blog.  It seems that even I have limits.  Post-mortom, you will get the full version from my paper-journals that I keep.
  10. I really like the feel of a good keyboard and the feel of a good pen on good paper.  I don’t know which I like better.  So, I do both.  I even ramble when I type.

I think all of this goes on in my head, circling and making me dizzy, and stupid.  I consider myself weird, and proud of it.

It would seem I would be depressed.  I think I’ve got an excess of depressive thoughts and that makes me happy.

Life is too much to think about.  So, the comedy must slip in.  I think I feel the morning meds kick in.  It has been about an hour and I feel my muscles start to relax and I feel sleepy.

I wish I could tell really good jokes.  But, it seems, I don’t have to.  This is all a big joke.

In Christ,

Jay C. “Jazzy_J” Theriot