I think my shell is hardening. I am in a peace right now.
I have my first visit with an endocrinologist this Wednesday. We will be looking for pheochromocytomas. Basically, they are tumors that grow inside of adrenal glands. I’ve tried to research them, but the information is way above my head. All I can understand, is that they screw a lot of things up.
My spine is growing spondylosis — bone spurs. Some are causing stenosis. We can only assume the cause to be the constant pulling of the muscles on the vertebrae. I can tell you my pain levels have increased and are near constant.
My car is paid for, and silent. I no longer have driving privileges. But, this is more of a blessing. I don’t have to do a self-assessment before I get into an auto. I don’t have to worry about what to do if I start having spasms. The result is that I am definitely stranded in my own home. My wife is making is as lovely as possible. The woman is an angel. I think she’s earning her wings long before the end.
The relationship with my blood relatives has be severed. I am not an innocent and do not claim to be. Their slings and arrows will no longer touch me. I am taking steps to finish severing ties with them electronically. I wish I could protect my kids. One of them is convinced that they are being stalked by them and the efforts are making her very uncomfortable.
It is interesting in that their public personae is that of community organizers. One has won Parish-level “Inspirational” awards. The rest are artists and have other roles in the community. But, the filth that are in their souls persist. I pray for them.
Instead of trying to understand this disability, they shun it and condemn it.
It is part of me. I have accepted it as what I have to deal with.
God help them in their paths.
Jay C. Theriot