We start with Job replying to his friend Eliphaz which rebuked Job in Chapter 6 for losing his faith. Job tries to explain:
“Oh, if only my grief could be weighed, and my misfortune laid on the scales too!
But because it is heavier than the sand of the sea, that is why my words have been wild.
For the arrows of the Almighty are within me; my spirit drinks their poison; God’s sudden terrors are arrayed against me.
I can’t say that I could align myself with these verses anymore than I do. Yes, Job understands that his pain comes from God and that his spirit is lessened by their affliction. However, he begs that his friends take his misfortune into account when they rebuke him. They do not see the pain that he is facing internally, alone. It is impossible for anyone to see that. And, on a personal note, I don’t ever want any of my friends, or enemies, to suffer what I am going through. The feeling that you muscles are ripping from your bones or bathing in acid should not be felt by any other soul.
They were distressed, because each one had been so confident; they arrived there, but were disappointed.
For now you have become like these streams that are no help; you see a terror, and are afraid.
The distance my ken have traveled from me, is a topic that my wife and I discuss often. Our chief theory is very similar to vv. 20 and 21. When people first greet me, they are confident that I’ll be ok. Then, they see the truth, and they take up the cross of denial and flee.
Comprehending the depth of this neuro-muscular disorder is understandably difficult. I’m well over a year and a half into discovery and can honestly report what we know in a few paragraphs. If my medical team, my support matrix and I, who are all intrinsically involved in the discovery, don’t know what this is; how can we expect a passer-by of life to even begin to comprehend. Consequently, when people ask how I am, I answer fine. That’s what they want to hear, regardless of the fact the temple curtains have been torn apart in my body.
How painful are honest words! But what does your reproof prove?
Do you intend to criticize mere words, and treat the words of a despairing man as wind?
There was an incident where I stood up for myself and it caused a schism in the family. I was in a tremendous amount of pain when I made my stand. Now, for those words, I am ostracized. I said them, and they were cutting. But, the result was quick and severe, as it severed ties with many people. I wish I could say I was sorry and ask for redemption. However, there has been no attempt at communication from their side. I was confounded by the coherence and totality of the counter attack.
I would like to reestablish contact with my family, but I need them to understand. Unfortunately, that is not something they are willing to begin to do.
Jay C. “Jazzy_J” Theriot