Ok, another trial run. EDoLa is hosting a Stewardship Seminar next Saturday and I have signed up for it. The plan is for my wife to drive me, drop me and then go shopping until she either runs out of money or my meds stop working. LOL.
There is a 4-day seminar I really would like to attend in Hendersonville, NC. This one is a national-level conference for Episcopal Communicators, which I am one of. For me to be effective, I need to gain information on what the Church is doing unified.
I think I have a high chance of surviving the EpisComm 18 for one specific reason: Even though it is 4 days, it is all on one campus. My wife will nob be with me, but sleeping and classes are all there. I just need to get my carcass there. I can take a cheap train to a location an hour away, but I need to get from Greenville, SC to Hendersonville and return. I will wait on that grain until I see if I can get a sponsor for at least part of the cost. On my fixed budget, I can’t do it.
Unfortunately, the parish coffers are fairly tight when it comes to Communications. They don’t really seem to be behind my efforts. I get a lot of positive feedback, but that doesn’t convert into donations. One thing I’ve started doing is stepping up my efforts to actively seek donations. Right now, I’m posting the link to make online donations to the Church in numerous locations. It’s even in my signature block of my emails.
I need to mingle my mind with people with the same mission. I need to know what I am doing wrong or right. Pioneering things, you rarely know if you are doing something of value. My time and energy have increased in rarity and I have to choose where I expend my energy carefully.
I run through all the things that could happen while I’m out-of-state. All I know is if I don’t start doing things that feed my mind, I never will move forward. I will stagnate worse than I am now. I am not a quitter and I cannot let this disease kill my spirit.
As I write this, know, I am in considerable pain. I’ve had about 1 hour of sleep. I gave up trying to rest about two hours ago (4:30 am). The bed was comfy, but my muscles are considerably unhappy. It’s a strange combination: high pain, low coordination, and I’ve got more energy than I should. So, I lay down restless, in pain, or I get up, walk around and drop things. It’s a comedy act.
I know there will be issues when I travel. But, knowing this, I can prepare for them. I have tools. The question is: Can I use the tools effectively to survive 4 days out of town. The results from our vacation to Natchitoches was less then great. But, we moved a lot, and things were spread out all over the town. Movement was exhausting.
In the seminar situation, once I get there, I’ll be in my chair for extended periods. I’ve got to be able to do this. I will pray and meditate. At this time, I’m not too concerned. I don’t have funding for EpisComm 18, and the Early-Bird prices expire on Jan. 26th. If I haven’t secured a sponsorship by then, the worry won’t matter.
I really miss work. For the first time since the military, I found people that were like me. Now, they are shadows in my memories.
The worse part about this disease is that my mind is strong. When the pain rises, it does falter. However, my mind is so much stronger than my body. It is not terminal (that we know off.) This means I have several decades where I can either build myself or become a hermit. Machiavelli said you either expand or decline, there is no stasis. I’m not willing to decline. I have to rage against the tides and find a way to effect a change in the world. Even if it is a small thing. There is no try. I must do.
Thanks for reading and God Bless,
Jay C. “Twitch” Theriot