The big lesson: More Fatigue = More Symptoms. (ugh…)
- Don’t forget you can’t walk and then jump out of a car.
- Wheelchair goes with you everywhere even if you think you can manage with a cane.
- Wine with slow the progression of symptoms for a time….then there is hell to pay.
- My wife is beyond dedicated and I don’t know what I would do without her.
- My dogs know more about how I feel than I do. Watching their behavior towards me is valuable.
- I talk way too much.
- Profuse sweating and numb spots are a precursor to an acute event.
- I can’t go to three parties in three days and expect to survive. It just doesn’t work.
- The cocktail only works if you take it.
- I have a lot of great friends that love me.
- I wish I could have my three daughters and step-son with me all the time, especially when I’m having symptoms. However, it isn’t fair to them.
- The more symptoms I have, the more I think about them, and my grandchild and grandkits.
I cannot survive without my religious beliefs and values. I don’t claim to even be a good Christian. I am a sinner and I have a multitude of faults. However, the Trinity stays with me and gives me strength and light in the dark times.
There is a saying that “we all die alone.” I don’t believe it. I will make a claim that I have seen the other side and in that process the fullness of the meaning of John 1:1-5 was revealed to me.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.” John 1:1-5, NRSV
Many Christians believe in the Trinity. The Trinity is the Word is God is Christ is the Holy Spirit. It is the fire that creates and destroys the universe. It is the fire in our hearts and in our souls. The power of the Word cannot be explained. I believe it must be felt.
I was lost, abandoned and the Word came to me and gave me strength. People ask me if I saw Jesus when I tell them of the event. I did not see Jesus. I felt a warmth and comfort and was given the Word to guide me back from the emptiness and despair.
The Word is power and we are meant to use it in the darkness to strengthen us and to rage against the tide. God flows through us. We are his instruments of life. However, we have free will and can choose not to do his bidding, to our loss.
Listening to Him is difficult. It is difficult, mainly because we think He is distant. He is not. He is in every atom. We just need to shut up and listen. He is there, like a whisper, guiding us through the storm.
I do not wish to ever be that close to death again, until the end. But, I am happy it happened. The Lord was with me and did not abandon me. I know, in the end, I won’t be alone.
I have vivid memories of the event, but not the knowledge I was temporarily granted. It was a window into what is to come, and what is out there.
There is more to this universe that what we can, or care to understand. Even so, we should always strive to understand. It is what God wants. Our understanding is key to our strength.
Thanks for reading, and God Bless,
Jay C. “Jazzy_J” Theriot